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My first apéritif took place about 3 weeks into my second trip to France. I had just met this cute French guy (who went on to become my husband) who had invited me out for lunch with some of his friends one Saturday. I had spent enough time in Paris (and had watched enough French films) to know to order a “kir” when the waiter first came to our table. When he arrived with a small bowl of olives and a hodge-podge of drinks, I was still in “America-mode” and slammed my dainty little kir back like a shot of Cuervo with one hand, while I flipped the menu back and forth with the other, trying to select an entrée and practice saying it to myself in French so that I’d be ready by the time he made it back to take my order. 5 minutes later I looked up to find the waiter gone, and the rest of the table settled back in their seats, chit-chatting and occasionally (v-e-r-y occasionally) taking tiny bird-like sips at their drinks. And so it remained for what seemed like 12 hours: talk. talk. talk. teeny-tiny sip. talk. talk. talk. teeny-tiny sip. Every once in a while someone would go all wild and help themselves to an olive, but then they’d come back to their senses and resume the talking and the sipping. And the talking. And the sipping. All the while I sat there growing hungrier and thirstier, not understanding a word of what was being said, and desperately trying to catch the eye of the waiter so that I could order another kir. I never did. That was my introduction to the French apéro.

Wikipedia describes an apéritif (Fr.), or aperitivo (It.) as “an alcoholic drink usually enjoyed as an appetizer before a large meal. It is often served with something small to eat, like olives or crackers.” That doesn’t really explain the social aspect of the French apéro, but take it from me- it involves a lot of talking. If you’re planning a wedding or event in France, and you’re looking at catering menus, you’ll notice that there are several drink standards that are almost always on offer during an apéro- with some modifications being made depending on the region of France that you’re in. I’ve taken the liberty to sample quite a few of these over the years, and now give you my rather girlie definition of the following:

Kir: A sweet little cocktail of creme de cassis (blackcurrant) topped with white wine. Kir also can be made in peach, strawberry or blackberry. I think they’re delicious and very girlie (even though French men drink them all the time (but they also wear their sweaters tied around their shoulders even though it’s not 1986 nor are they on the tennis court. AND they proudly walk those itty-bitty Paris Hilton-type dogs in public, so…) A Kir Royale takes it up a notch by being made with champagne instead of wine.

Pastis: A strong, cloudy-yellow, licorice-flavored alcohol. When you order a Pastis, you get served a tall, thin glass with about 2 inches of alcohol with an iced-tea spoon in it, with a small pitcher of water on the side. You pour the water into the Pastis to dilute it to your taste. I remember my first sip of Pastis tasted like Everclear, but 4 sips in- hmm, not so bad!

Ricard: Honestly, I don’t know the difference between the two. I think Ricard may be cloudy white as opposed to Pastis being yellow- but someone can post a comment to enlighten me.

Martini (rouge or blanc): This isn’t a martini martini (of the “shaken not stirred” variety) but straight vermouth poured over the rocks. This is my father-in-law’s preferred apéro, and it really isn’t so bad. Order this one to impress your visiting friends and relatives with your Frenchiness (every tourist knows about the kir thing by now!)

Muscat: A yummy sweet white wine that’s served a bit cold. Very refreshing in this land o’ no ice.

Port: Port is the same as in the U.S., but in France they drink it before dinner, rather than after.

Coupe de Champagne: Most apéritif menus will offer a coupe de champagne, which really needs no explanation, it’s just that the term “coupe de champagne” is a pet peeve of mine, so I couldn’t not mention it. For some reason the term cheapens the whole idea to me- Like calling a flute of Veuve Clicquot a “Cup O’ Champers”, blegh.

You can also sometimes get sangria, mojitos, or a punch (pronounced “POWnsh”. Really!! Isn’t that funny?) as part of your apéro menu.

In addition to the alcoholic beverages, an aperitif menu will also include boissons non alcoolisées (non-alcoholic beverages), aka “softs“. This includes orange juice, coke/diet coke, water (both fizzy and not), Sprite, etc.

Next to the drinks, an apéro menu will often list “amuse bouches” - literally “mouth amuser” [ bouche = mouth; amuser = to amuse, to please]. This usually isn’t defined on the menu because it depends on what you select as your starter and/or main course. The price of the amuse bouches is typically included in the price of the apéro, and there isn’t a selection- everyone gets the same thing. It could be as simple as olives, or something a bit more elaborate like mozzarella stuffed tomatoes or melon wrapped with a jambon cru. Amuse bouches are usually considered as a “freebie” in France, so I try to advise my clients not to stress out over what exactly will be served. Unless there is a major risk of food allergies, this isn’t something that you would want to pick over with the catering manager. Think of it as a happy surprise, and if you trust the venue enough to host your wedding meal there, rest assured that the amuse bouches will be just as deelish as the rest of menu.

One thing that is kind of confusing about French catering menus are the differences between a “vin d’honneur”, a “cocktail” and an “apéritif”. The three terms seem to be used interchangeably, but there can be subtle differences. This goes back to the whole level thing that I was talking about with French weddings. Directly following a typical French wedding ceremony, you will be invited to a vin d’honneur, usually in or nearby the ceremony venue. There you’ll be served champagne to drink, but more than likely there will also be the above apéritif standards on hand. At the vin d’honneur, you’ll have a chance to snack on small amuse bouches, as well as more substantial hors d’hoevres. In this case, the vin d’honneur is considered the same as the cocktail hour. Once guests arrive at the reception venue, because they rarely arrive at the same time, there is often a small apéro served- more standards than champagne this time, and lighter on the amuse bouches. After guests are seated, they will then be served their starter. If you’re not having a vin d’honneur, but are offering your guests an hour before dinner where they can have some drinks and small things to snack on, the terms “cocktail” and “apéro” can then be considered one in the same. Got it?
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